Swim till you drown

  

What happens when Pinocchio says "My nose will grow now"?

Paradoxes are addictive. Primarily because our mind is at unrest when we come across problems that we believe we fully understand but are helpless when we try to find a solution. Are paradoxes completely pointless? Why do they even exist? What is our takeaway from pondering over a paradox? Is there anything more to it than just the fun of having an irresolvable puzzle around? Perhaps there is more. What if it is the scariest thing known to us?

To try to understand why a paradox would even remotely scare us, we may have to understand a little bit about the concept of Absolute Randomness. Does Absolute Randomness exist? or do we just call it random when we fail to procure the necessary data and calculate to ascertain the outcome of a system? Take a simple toss of a coin. Is the outcome totally unpredictable or say if we were somehow able to capture data like shape of the coin, material, density, angular momentum, composition of air, wind direction, speed, ground tension and a few dozen other data with time. We may be able to predict the outcome. Hence it is not absolutely random. So is the lottery draw, the weather, quantum mechanics, behaviour of people, you name it. We simply don't or can't calculate and predict, till date.

Randomness then, prevails purely through ignorance. Since we know that mass and energy cannot be destroyed, if the Universe is only made of mass and energy, playing around "randomly"(or following a set of laws), they are just going on and on switching between one another endlessly. So we people get created and change forms and at some point regain the form and again change and so on, forever. There is nothing we can ever do to change it. There is no individuality. We cannot call our individual self as an individual entity. For I without the universe am meaningless. We are part of a whole. We exist together as a system and transpire.  There is no escape. We happen, again and again and again.

In life, we can always find ways to handle our problems by fixing them, running away from it or making it worse. We can quit schools, jobs, family, friends, life anything at anytime we want to. But we cannot escape the biggest paradox we are engulfed in. The paradox of existing and being a part of the universe. If this is true, then swimming till you drown may not sound as depressing as it did before reading this.

However there seems to exist an assurance that could very well change several things we haven't understood and could change the fundamental way of our thinking about everything. But let us hope it is not what people call the 'ultimate paradox' - To want to discover something that thought itself cannot think.

Bcozazedzo

Curtains down

She sells curtains. Thinks about what she did in the morning. Got dressed and took a long walk at 11, past the school, the park, across the lake and reached the mall. El Oued finds a suit through the glass. It reminds her of her son's first suit. He was 22 then, not scared of the world he was about to enter from college, not one bit. Long ago, when her son was 9, he once threw ink and stained a 10 set curtain bunch. He had already learnt the names and capitals of all the countries in the world. He left the country when he was 26. He had walked into the kitchen with a rod and a chicken and told her that he is planning to settle in As Sib and stepped out of the kitchen, she follows him to the curtain store and was searching for him behind every curtain in display. She finds something different with the curtains, they were damaged and stained. She then realizes that all of them are damaged. She even finds some lying on the streets outside and were getting drenched in the rain. She doesn't mind the rain, goes out and starts picking them up as quickly as possible. She notices strangers taking cover and watching her as if she is insane. She finds her son talking on the phone. She cries out to him. He doesn't respond. She feels as if she doesn't exist. She feels she doesn't belong to this world. She falls to her knees and starts crying. Within moments, she seas hundreds of bulls running everywhere on the meadow. She drops the damp curtains and runs for cover. Hides behind a tree and stays still. She starts shivering in the cold breeze. She wants to run back into her house, but she doesn't know how to get there. She falls to the ground, closes her eyes and curls in her arms and legs. As the sound of thunder grows louder and louder, she closes her ears tighter and tighter. She opens her eyes suddenly realizing that the sound was not of thunder anymore. It was someone knocking on the door. She gets off the bed quickly to see who it is.

It was a letter from her son. It reads

Dear Mother,

I have been good here. How have you been? This is my 11th letter. I know you have been reading them. I have apologized plenty of times for leaving you. I understand I have hurt you but I cannot come back. Now that I am doing well, I can afford to bring you here. Why don't you atleast respond to my calls or telegrams? I thought you would be happy if I was happy.

May be you should ask yourself this, who is being selfish?

With love
Sidi

She sinks on the sofa, her face stiff. The dream was still fresh in her mind. Sits motionless for 7 minutes and then picks up the phone and speaks into it "Hi, please have the shop. I am leaving the country in 2 days".

Bcozazedzo